ahhs my gf broke up wif me !
the puzzle? this (relationship as i call it) is either it did start, or it never started. i believe it did start. it had started and ended. i believe the 'not asking for whether to be stead' that one, i believe, is just a pure excuse.
u had alot of flaws anyways. flaws that were also out of ur control. dun even say about me. i did my best.
i treated my exams like my psle. my A levels. my wadevers (mrp?) ...
it was important.
lets go to the emotional part. i didnt feel too sad or brokedown. i had been expecting it. ready, and it came.
though i said i wasn't too sad, now im completely not sad, but it has put and laid down a burden on my feelings, egoism maybe. i feel some pain 'there' . hopefully after i go for counselling help, i can recover faster. its just a aftermath for my egoism, my brain tells me so.
i'll hav to really recover fast. its a giant leap for me from sec 2 to 3. khoo wont be there. tan gc most probably wont be there, replaced by wongsm. i am on gd terms with wongsm. hopefully she shld be biased with me in good terms. shes only like biased with PRC scholars and m'sia scholars like that one. =/
i wonder who i'm really addressing in this entry. to the masses, i advice ya all to wait and wait before u ever think of going into BGRs. especially qi han. ur record of 7 or 8 gfs is really going to wreck the image of u to other girls. most may think ur a playboy. i dun think so. ur more of a 'noob' mugger, and um ur pretty average actually, besides that u can get the usual exemptions only. rmb qi han, half the class got higher than ur english summary, i got higher than ur term 4 chinese paper. so ur just, slightly special thats all. one tad bit makes all the difference. i wonder indeed. its true anyways.
wait yea wait. lets look at my pathetic condition now. um not really..
sec 3 and 4 : no BGR, absolutely no, if i want to get MSG 2.00 and below to get into college section. for nygh, i duno their criteria, but its said that their sec 2 EOYEs will affect whether they get into ip or not.
year 5 and 6 : absolutely no time. i'll have the NYAA gold award, which means 45 hrs of pure service. then hav to study for A levels too.
straight after that is NS, so at that time its impossible as theres the greatest chance to lose someone. (1 whole week, imagine the rate at which that particular someone can get snatched away)
by 20...
uni perhaps, if my parents can fund that. they didnt buy a single insurance for me, so if anything happens to me, no education money, then thats it for me. by 20, not much time left for BGRs. not much time left for pure mugging. one day will like sleep like less than 6 hours during mug periods.
thus...
things of fate leave to the future. dont ever think that, um, everything can be pushed forward to our teens. i can admit my mistake and move forward. i doubt i had more mistakes than sacrifices within that short short period of time. i didnt noe. it was all over before it even began. was that true? or maybe not.
just heard a thunder streak across the sky from right to left from above my flat. its still raining. silent night indeed.
garnet peridotite was shining at
20:55
