to figure out this.. is the hardest thing on earth. its not discovering history, no not this. its to discover what IS our very own conscience.
for those who dun want to read a long entry, skip this entry. otherwise, be ready then.
self-conscious .. some speak of thy themselves to be self-conscious. but then, if everyone had self-conscious and a high level of it, there'll need not be criminals isn't it? .
for myself, i think my own self-conscious is truly irritating to myself. theres a reason. one point of time i may feel like im a pervert. the next point i think-act as though i am ignorant to my own feelings. then the next point i feel like wanting to play dota. then after, i feel like i must not play dota, so that my eyes will b better. what is this? self-confusion or something? i cant explain.
its either that this feature is common in some humans, or that i can have multiple variations of myself. so if i can like that it means that i can be kind one day, and be like a normal student. then the next day i can be non-attentive in class or something like that. if so then what is the true me? what is.. and who is me
maybe i alrdy had the answer. my brain is either screwed by all the 7 years of passive smoke, or that.. i cant control it that well or something? or that its just a temptation, men's 7 deadliest sins..
priorities-wise, studies never must come first. health should. i dun want to die studying. its too gay a choice for me. studies actually come first if health is okay already.
what else.. i also want to try to cut my year 2006 overall MSG by half. that is to get 1.5 , no more and no less if it is difficult. i heard from seniors that sec 3 life is tough. okay, maybe at most i can get is 2.
thinking is encouraged. i think it screwed my head or something.
short entry. cos when i wanted to publish the server crashed on me. recover post, and i got only half of what i typed. so good then.
thats all.
garnet peridotite was shining at
23:47
