what should i start with? there's alot i could mention.
(what's this 16.5 year "old hag" gonna say?)

alright. start with the good news. i broke 3 records overnight (yes, literally) , and it's not meant to be ego or whatever. i feel sad but accomplished though.

1. mugged non-stop (no sleep, yeah) somewhere from 0045hrs onwards to about 0530. first time i seriously threw away my sleep and mugged that hard. now i feel so pain.
2. took the first train at 0545hrs from bk bt mrt stn towards j. e.
3. my inner thoughts overtook my usual self. and i left home.

what did i do during those muggin' hours? i mugged. simple as that. and i wrote down a lengthy series of verses.
(these weren't what i wrote)

i saw lightning streaks across the sky, sometimes covered behind by a tall dark piece of cloud. it resembled a stellar nursery. but i was thinking of myself instead. i'm like, shadowed by such mere influences from outside. i'll never get seen by the world if i don't get out of it. and so i saw the first proper lightning streak. beautiful, i'd say. suteki da ne...

i saw the moon creep across the sky. and i saw an even better *(photoworthy)* view, of the moon illuminating the translucent cloud beneath it while the surrounding was covered by the darker clouds. plus a lightning streak across, somewhere at the bottom too. the view lasted no more than mere split seconds, but it was graciously magnificent.

i saw the world filled with an abundance of mystery. something for each and every one of us to discover... some colorful, some not.

this, gave me confidence.

*i still hate smokers. they spoil my air*

now, i'll move on to my inner thoughts

the school of thoughts

the justice system
justice, although not as strong in my personality trait as my *perceiving* aspect, does serve some purpose here.
suppose, if one were mentally tortured, on a daily basis, with no outlet or whatsoever. it would not be too long before some revenge is taken. unfortunately, i do not, and never will, wish to take things literally. this was a game of mentality warfare. and i had to fight like a zombified warrior.

fight or flight
this is one good mechanism for the mind and the body to decide on what to do when faced with a crisis / problem / whatnot. most people depend entirely on it but they do not know of its existence or its function.
basically, there are two main types of responses one can make when faced with a *potentially* dangerous situation or whatsoever.
one, fight it and hopefully win. one will be damaging to the self, in any aspect, because a risk is involved and it will inevitably cause damage.
two, run away and emerge safely. unless this is procrastination, it is usually the better option out of the two.

guess what i did... i did both.

one, fight back against their smses. i called this family stupid for the first time. i would have done so long ago, but this time, it was a much benefiting scenario for me to do so.
two, i ran away. *he* tried to find me, but i really didn't give a damn. i would have made this a failure if i returned anytime before sunrise.

whats the point of worrying for me... it is not even my fault at any length, and yet i have to endure such loud wails and the sound of things disintegrating into tiny fragments. well, F=ma according to newton, and trust me it isn't a good treatment of my soul.

and yes, one more thing. never once did i feel like crying. i'm too numb for that now. i need an avenue to shout my lungs out instead. i missed the shoutfest we had after astrigue and stuff.
so... a chronological order of what i did and whatnot.

0025: saw that the time was ripe. brought along all my chem NOTES (not tutorials) with a black pen and my scribble notebook. 4 mentos too. plus my usual load of stuff.
0030: went to hide. i'm not telling where, but i'd recommend another building's stairwell if anyone's gonna try. and for girls, please don't try this. i recommend changi airport as well, but there's no public transport left at this hour. and the taxi drivers are horrible... they honk you when you walk alone on the street. desperate, aren't they...
ah, speaking about changi airport. carol (not eiko, the REAL carol) promised me to ton the night away at changi after o's. we'll see about that, and i want to invite more people to join us XD
damn, i'm rebellious at heart and i know it.
went to the public toilet at the nearby hawker centre twice too. that was due to the big gulp i bought at the 7-11.
0530: started walking from my hiding place to the mrt station.
0545: got the first train, just in time. there were quite *many* people at the station at this hour, because it's the first train. few people were standing in the train.
0550: j. east. had to wait 2 mins for the train to pasir ris. was in the zombified state, so technically i'm half asleep. but i was standing.
0632: reached bedok. went to eat breakfast there.
0700: bus no. 66 arrived. and it was a (37XX) licence plate series, which i loved.
0805: reached school's busstop.
0825: reached my busstop.

damn. i feel satisfied with myself. for having such willpower to survive the night out. it was a long ride home.
* "I have a problem with PEOPLE. And i know it." *
i never tasted the greater side of life until i threw away the good side.
i have 177 msn contacts left after i deleted 9 useless ones.